11/23/2015 16:45 Down again? UP 1322 28 Nov 2105!

[swalt]

Folks:
To all the armchair IT gurus, Kestryll and the hosting provider don't have much experience in this field and can really use your help.  Please put all of your suggestions in writing on the back of $100 bills.  If one bill is not enough for your ideas, please use multiple bills and mail them all to him for review, evaluation, and consideration.
Until then, put the smartphone/tablet/laptop down, go outside your mom's basement, enjoy a breath of fresh air, clean your guns, go out for a walk, maybe go out to the range...
You get the idea...
 

Its so complicated no one can understand.....

https://youtu.be/MRgUgHUSVtI

[SapperForward]

Checking in so I can say I was a part of the great disaster of 2015.

I was negotiating two deals in the marketplace. Getting antsy in my pantsies.

[Somkey the Hores]

Melvino!!!

How are you my friend?

Looks like you are getting along well with the natives.

Thank you my friend.  So many newbies that are not so friendly  Cheers my friend, Cheers!

Your "friendliness" reeks of insincerity.

[Melvino the FAKE]

Sorry my friend.  I just want to be friendly.  How can I seem more sincere my friend?

[frankm]

OMG! I heard of the legend of Melvino. Welcome back, uh, my friend!

[cockedandglocked]

Sorry my friend.  I just want to be friendly.  How can I seem more sincere my friend?

$300 should do it. Cashier's check or money order.

[wannabe_cranemech]

I'm just here to ease the withdrawal symptoms and get my "fix" LOL

[Killer Bee]

Checking in so I can say I was a part of the great disaster of 2015.

I was negotiating two deals in the marketplace. Getting antsy in my pantsies.

seller and I met by pm and got to close the deal via text just in time.. meeting Friday for ppt

[The War Wagon]

Checking in so I can say I was a part of the great disaster of 2015.

Yep - I was all set to update my "Keep it classy, Oakland (Raiders)" thread, since Ray-Ray got released-released today (Raiders fans oughta be used to that - think of it as, "parole"  ), and sure enough - the news through the WHOLE board outta whack!   

[vliberatore]

Checking in so I can say I was a part of the great disaster of 2015.

Yep - I was all set to update my "Keep it classy, Oakland (Raiders)" thread, since Ray-Ray got released-released today (Raiders fans oughta be used to that - think of it as, "parole"  ), and sure enough - the news through the WHOLE board outta whack!   

That's what happens when you post a Raiders thread...

[rudyn]

I am here as I started withdrawls a bit ago.

[cokebottle]

Technically you're correct. But how much more money does it take to support that 24/7 365 days a year?

I have no idea how much CG pays for their hosting now, nor what their bandwidth requirements are, but GoDaddy offers a dedicated hardware server for $209/mo, plus $4.99/mo for daily automatic backups:

32 GB RAM
Storage: 2 TB
Bandwidth: 20 TB/mo

Cheaper plans are available if the requirements are less.

https://www.godaddy.com/servers

I'm sure there are many similar options out there from other company's as well, that's just the first one that came to mind.

2TB and 20TB/Month?

That's not even close to what's needed for Calguns.
Remember, there are a LOT of attachments, and the bandwidth for 10,000 users.

That Godaddy server with Calguns on it would run worse than CalCCW

I manage 7 recording servers with 24TB each (Raid6) at my traffic management center.

And I just sent Kest three $100 bills, but forgot to write my recommendation on them

[cockedandglocked]

20TB divided by 1 million monthly website visits (http://www.trafficestimate.com/calguns.net) is 20MB of available bandwidth per visit. I don't think that that would be exceeded, since the bulk of the images (avatars) are cached locally on our machines after the first download. I'm not sure how many photos are in their database, but if each one is 200KB, that's enough space for 10 million photos. The database of posts and PM's is likely <20GB, but even if I'm underestimating that by 1000%, it's still only 10% of the total available storage. All the text of Wikipedia is only 12GB, so I think my estimate of 20GB of posts in calguns if probably not an underestimate.

The above is pure speculation of course, but I don't think I'm that far off.

Also, I'm not necessarily recommending GoDaddy specifically, I was just giving the first example that popped into my head. I'm sure there are thousands of better options out there for similar pricing.

[fishmonger]

while i dont post must i do like to read the and i now that its down i can see how much i am addicted to the site.

fyi godaddy sucks.

[uxo2]

I'm a noob

[760Practicalshooter]

OK ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! PUT THE DANG HAMSTERS BACK IN THE WHEEL!!! RIGHT MEOOOOW!!!!!

[Satex]

This should help lighten the mood:

Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland.

I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean,

me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers.

Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne!

We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes.

My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.

And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners.

[Satex]

Doc, says Steve, I want to be castrated.

What on earth for? asks the doctor in amazement.

It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done replies Steve.

But have you thought it through properly? asks the doctor, It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back.

It will change your life forever!

I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor.

Well, OK. says the doctor, But it's against my better judgment!

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand.

Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

Hi there, says Steve, It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me.

Well, said the patient, I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised.

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "DAMN! THAT'S the word!

[Satex]

For all the local "operators":

LETTER FROM A FARM KID,

(NOW AT San Diego MARINE CORPS

RECRUIT TRAINING.)

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a

mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 A.M. but I am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch,

mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham,

steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee.

Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us.

If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.

The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home.

All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real

careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home.

I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake I only beat him once.

He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Carol

[Melvino the FAKE]

OMG! I heard of the legend of Melvino. Welcome back, uh, my friend!

thanks my friend, for some reason people don't like being friends on .org

[Melvino the FAKE]

This should help lighten the mood:

Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland.

I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean,

me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers.

Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne!

We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes.

My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.

And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners.

Wow, awesome to see you here satex.  I have missed you my friend

[cokebottle]

Sorry my friend.  I just want to be friendly.  How can I seem more sincere my friend?

Try being just a little less creepy

And *I'M* pretty creepy so that's saying something

[LBDamned]

I'm just here to ease the withdrawal symptoms and get my "fix" LOL

missing the place huh?... I'm sure just the site, not the state 

[ciwhite]

Seems pretty fishy too me. Are we sure the Kamala and the folks in Sacramento aren't behind this?

[Satex]

Wow, awesome to see you here satex.  I have missed you my friend

SemiAutoSam - is that you???

[Offshoreman]

I can't help wondering what the loss in revenue per day is

[Satex]

A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert post. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old,
seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour,
"What's the camel for?" The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere,
and the men have natural --- urges, so when they do, we have the camel."
The Captain said "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could not stand it anymore,
so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's quarters.
The Captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous --- with the camel.
As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he asked the sergeant,
"Is that how the enlisted men do it?" The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."

[Satex]

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.
The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"
"Well, what should I do?" asks the man. "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's ---."
The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and WOW! He hits the ball 250 yds. Straight up the fairway.
The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson.
The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."
"What can I do?" asks the wife."Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's ---."
The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway . . . about 15 ft.
"That was great," the pro says. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing the club like you're supposed to!" says the pro.

[glock_this]

10+ year member... I never come over here as it looks like a scary clown website from 2001 and I have visual issues looking at the bubble gum colors.

But seriously, when the outage went on for hours and then a day, I figured something technology related must have melted down. And then day 2 came and that is when I went searching for answers and... damn! I did not think it would be this serious.

This is really cutting into my Sales & Deals shopping - but maybe saving me money then.

Now I will be hanging out here to see how this resolves.

[meno377]

Folks:
To all the armchair IT gurus, Kestryll and the hosting provider don't have much experience in this field and can really use your help.  Please put all of your suggestions in writing on the back of $100 bills.  If one bill is not enough for your ideas, please use multiple bills and mail them all to him for review, evaluation, and consideration.
Until then, put the smartphone/tablet/laptop down, go outside your mom's basement, enjoy a breath of fresh air, clean your guns, go out for a walk, maybe go out to the range...
You get the idea...
 

Satex forgot to post the address for sending funds. Here's the address:

Please Remit To:
I Can Fix Your Server-C/O Calguns
10000 Dollars Street,
Poorsville, CA. 10000-0000

Please include all recommendations along with your check or money order.